You know that this is not too far off the Muslim marriage experience?
Well, all my brothers have had "arranged marriages" where the main goal of the marriage was to find "value compatibility" between our family and our SILs' families. This definitely builds a marriage on 'duty' and 'sacrifice' but it might compromise on 'personal happiness'. I hear you on that.
It's not too far off for sure.. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing something so vulnerable. I appreciate the window in your experience of religious trauma and how you're recovering from it. Sending peace!
Beautifully written and expressed. Just weeks before I got married the first time, I learned of an irreparable trauma in my ex’s life (something she refused to share, in part, due to being raised Catholic) and believed naively that I could “fix” it. Despite all of the bells, whistles and bullhorns going off in my head, I went through with the marriage any way.
I wrote about the end of that union last month and did not include that part in the retelling. In some respects I felt like it would be piling on, when ultimately the decision to leave was mine and could not be blamed on that alone. And, even though our relationship has been acrimonious for three decades, I look at my son and don’t question why it happened.
All of that being said, I read this and felt my heart break for you. Your children are so fortunate that you have worked out a way to co-parent successfully; that is something my ex and I never were able to accomplish. I greatly admire the journey you have undertaken and am grateful I get to witness a small part of it. I’ve learned a lot.
Caitlin, thank you for sharing this -- every time you write about your religious trauma in any way, I feel alarmed, and that's putting it mildly, and this was no different. But I'm also very grateful to you for helping me understand how many people are dealing with these issues. I have more compassion and empathy because of you -- wow, what a gift -- so thank you for that.
You know that this is not too far off the Muslim marriage experience?
Well, all my brothers have had "arranged marriages" where the main goal of the marriage was to find "value compatibility" between our family and our SILs' families. This definitely builds a marriage on 'duty' and 'sacrifice' but it might compromise on 'personal happiness'. I hear you on that.
It's not too far off for sure.. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing something so vulnerable. I appreciate the window in your experience of religious trauma and how you're recovering from it. Sending peace!
Beautifully written and expressed. Just weeks before I got married the first time, I learned of an irreparable trauma in my ex’s life (something she refused to share, in part, due to being raised Catholic) and believed naively that I could “fix” it. Despite all of the bells, whistles and bullhorns going off in my head, I went through with the marriage any way.
I wrote about the end of that union last month and did not include that part in the retelling. In some respects I felt like it would be piling on, when ultimately the decision to leave was mine and could not be blamed on that alone. And, even though our relationship has been acrimonious for three decades, I look at my son and don’t question why it happened.
All of that being said, I read this and felt my heart break for you. Your children are so fortunate that you have worked out a way to co-parent successfully; that is something my ex and I never were able to accomplish. I greatly admire the journey you have undertaken and am grateful I get to witness a small part of it. I’ve learned a lot.
Thank you. I read your story and it gives me hope.
Blessings in the figuring out.
Thank you Sally
Caitlin, thank you for sharing this -- every time you write about your religious trauma in any way, I feel alarmed, and that's putting it mildly, and this was no different. But I'm also very grateful to you for helping me understand how many people are dealing with these issues. I have more compassion and empathy because of you -- wow, what a gift -- so thank you for that.
I am so glad it helps. It helps me process it too