More brain fog

so poem and links it is

The rhythm of weekly publishing is good for my skills and my motivation. That said, when so much of the world is weighing on my heart, and my emotions feel unleashed in every way, writing for an audience is not the best way to process. That is what my journal and therapist are for.

Thank you to all who regularly read my words. It means a lot to know that you are out there.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Bleeding Heart

I will not keep a quiet heart,
Instead, there will be an unconsuming fire
At my center
That will bleed across my life and into the world.
Rosy hues will bloom
Spreading a rooted biome
Beneath the soil
Rising with the spring rains and summer sun.
Untethered empathy unleashed by rage
and the need for hope
in an unjust world will roar in my center.
The bold, impassioned,
palpable beat of my own drum
drowns the despair that threatens destruction.
Until the seed planted
by sorrow and injustice
blossom into mercy and compassion.

~Caitlin Mallery

(Just FYI, I am not a fan of white Jesus portrayals; he was a Middle Eastern brown man. However, the sacred heart imagery speaks powerfully to me, and somewhere out there is an artist who can make the image better. I just haven’t found it yet.)

For the Ears

Currently, I am binging this podcast, which helps make sense of how white nationalism grew. I grew up in it, in the fringe groups that delighted in their “persecution.” In groups where “men were men,” and women served at their whims.

For the Eyes

I made the mistake of going to the library by myself without a deadline. So, I brought home a stack of books from the new nonfiction. Topics included one book about parenting tweens, another for understanding ADHD, poetry from Padraig O’Tuma, a book about leaving the evangelical church, a book about building connections between caregivers and patients (to help me as a chaplain), and one novel about Indigenous women.

Will I read all of them before they are due back to the library? Doubtful.
Will I at least skim them all? Yes, and maybe put some on hold for later.

Can you be trusted to walk out of the library with only one book?

For the Taste Buds

Vitamin C drinks are a way of life right now, with raspberry and citrus flavors preferred by my household. Holding off infections and illness with the good things from the earth, the labs, and some good old-fashioned prayer.

May this week bring patience to your senses and your soul.