Britney and I connected in a poetry writing group years ago. I saw her first conception of the Sweet Potato Pie, and to see it out in the world is amazing. Britney has such joy in life, but that does not mean she is without struggle. A joyful person is resilient in the face of struggle. I am so glad Britney was willing to share a little of her story with me.
Britney N. Daniels is a St. Louis writer, actor, and theatre artist. She is currently serving as the Teaching and Engagement Manager at The Repertory Theatre of St. Louis. A part of her work there involves co-producing, coordinating community projects, curriculum building, and teaching acting/writing to students around the St. Louis area. Her recent writing credits include a one-woman show Sweet Potato Pie (STL Fringe Festival, Soaring Solo Series), A writer for Ivy on the Wire (Historical Interactive Game) produced by Tesseract, commissioned by Buffalo Soldier Museum to write/act Hidden Decision, a one-woman show about Cathy Williams, and her short play The Seed was produced by SMMEIIS (Southwest Mississippi Multiplex for Early Innovative Intervention Studies). She has a BA from Oral Roberts University in Drama/TV/Film and a MFA in Acting from the University of Arkansas. You can follow her on Instagram @_britneydaniels.
Tell a little about your experience of faith/religion as a child.
My earliest memory of being introduced to faith was my grandma and grandpa taking me to their church. It was I knew I went to every Sunday. It was an old black Baptist church full of verbal “amen” and impromptu praise dancing! It was never a dull moment learning about Jesus. I didn’t know why they danced until I met God myself. Shortly after moving out of my grandparent's house, my dad found a church for us. It was a First Assembly of God in the suburbs of Humble, TX. My first observation was that it was a much more subdued way of worshipping God than what I was used to, but it felt like He was there too. I was 8 years old, and my dad put me into Missionetes and I slowly began to gain an understanding of God's love for me. This is when I chose God for myself, and I’ve been of the ebbs and flow of my faith walk for years.
What prompted you to change your perspective?
My faith was shaken when my lovely grandma suddenly passed away. It was the first time I thought my prayers weren’t answered. I took God at His word, and I believed that He would heal her. I’ve seen Him do miracles right before my eyes, so I knew He could heal her. When she died, confusion and anger enveloped me. It wasn’t until I realized, what my grandma said that I truly understood her prayer. They said she kept saying she wanted to go home. We thought it was her physical home, but I realized years later that she meant home with the Lord.
What was the scariest/hardest part about deconstruction?
I’ve never had to do this. I have an abundance of evidence and personal testimony on how and why I believe in Jesus. No one can take that away from me.
How has your faith changed over the years? Have there been any particularly difficult seasons in the church?
I'm sure we can all remember the exact moment your world shifted. For me, I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas in a guest house, eating noodles, and working on my lines for a play when my mom called. She told me that my grandma had passed away, and that's when I stopped breathing. My best friend, my confidant, the person who introduced me to Jesus was no longer on earth. 3 weeks before this call, I remember praying in her hospital room using all the leverage I had to "make" God heal her. "God if you do this, I promise to never...You said in this scripture...that you would heal..." I used everything I knew. I wasn't ready for her to leave. I've seen Him do a miracle before my eyes, so I knew it was possible. When she died, that is when my faith became difficult. I was so angry at God. Why didn't He heal her? It wasn't until I realized, what my grandma said that I truly understood her prayer. They said she kept saying she wanted to go home. We thought it was her physical home, but I realized years later that she meant home with the Lord. Who am I to keep her from her Jesus I thought. Now, I know God answered both of our prayers. He took her home and to a place with no more pain. He healed her.
How do you feel about faith/religion now?
I feel that now more than ever it is extremely important to have a personal relationship with Jesus. If you are not rooted in him, it is extremely easy to get lost in the noise of the world, technology, and or self-idolization. It is just too easy to get lost now, so as a believer, I must have an anchor in him.
Though this could have put me in the mindset of legalism,
it pointed me in the direction I am now.
For the Ears
Do you have a podcast or music that is comforting, inspiring, or healing to you?
No One Ever Cared for Me Like Jesus- Steffany Gretzinger
This song is a constant reminder of my first love, Jesus. I absolutely love this song and can play it for hours.
For the Eyes
Is there a book, movie, or TV show that has impacted your faith journey?
The first Left Behind book deeply influenced my early faith. I decided to get baptized and become a fully committed Christian at the ripe age of 12. As soon as I read that I was accountable for my sins at the age of 12, I did everything in my power to be a "good girl". I did not want to go to HELL! That is why when Left Behind the movie came out it was overwhelming confirmation that I needed to make sure my heart was right before the Lord. I wanted to be the one that was taken, not the one left behind if the rapture came. Though this could have put me in the mindset of legalism, it pointed me toward the direction I am now. I know that if the rapture comes my heart is definitely in the right place to go home to my King. I'm thankful for this movie because it was pivotal in keeping me in constant realization in my heart and mind toward the Lord.
For the Taste Buds
What food or drink is your go-to right now?
Coconut water and peppermint tea.
The idea of tropical water sounds great to my winter weary soul these days. Thanks so much for sharing Britney!
May this week bring joy to your senses and your soul.
Dear readers, if you would like to share your journey of religious deconstruction and reconstruction you can fill out this form.